Things

My brother Steven is a master of the blog. It's always funny, insightful, visually stimulating, and well-thought out. Mine, not so much. So in contrast to his well-organized blogs, here's another of my random-thought lists:

-My attack during Joel's rehearsal turned out to be a serious long-term problem. Since then, I've had this terrible cough, a runny nose, no energy, and serious shortness of breath. I went to the doctor, and was diagnosed with "post-viral bronchial spasm." Fun, right? So apparently the virus I had a few weeks ago caused me to develop horrible asthma. And not the kind of asthma brought on by intense exercise or emotional stress, the kind that is ever-present. So sitting still makes me cough. But no worries, I'm now on 2 inhalers, antibiotics, and the most fun: steriods. As of today, I can taste foods and not cough when sitting still. So hopefully by my show on the 12th, I'll be feeling good enough to dance.

-Speaking of my show, everyone should come!! May 12th, the Anthenaeum Theater in Chicago. I have shows at 1pm and 8pm. The first company performs at 4pm, as well. Be there :) My mommy will be, YAY!!

-On a completely different note, I saw some kid riding his bike down the street the other day. Not exciting, except that he was wearing a red shirt with a star and sickle on it. Communist 14 year olds? Not a thing you see every day. Free country and all, I was a little taken a-back.

-A few weeks ago, I found out that one of my favorite Saturday morning shows from my childhood was back on the air: Beakman's World. He's a crazy scientist with a rat-suited side-kick who answers kid's mailed-in science questions. I watch it every week now. Last week was an episode that I remembered almost exactly from the first time I saw it. "Soap makes water wetter." Not a particularly acurate description of the way soap works, but a very influential episode for me. My love of science was really kindled by wacky kid science shows, and it's fun to re-visit this one. Now, if only they brought back Bill Nye the Science Guy, I might be persuaded to go back to school :)

-Anybody out there know anything about small office networks? I was put in charge of setting up a network of the computers at the dance store. Let me tell you, I have no idea what I'm doing. But actually, it pretty much works. There's a workgroup, the computers are named, you can get files from computer 1 to computer 2. The problem is, you can't get access to computer 2 from computer 1. Annoying. And it makes it so that the program we are interested in networking doesn't work now because there's only communication one way. Any idea how to give permission to computer 2?


Okay, the list is over now. Don't worry, there will be another scatter-brained entry soon enough :) Hope you enjoyed the randomness!

Mr. Joel Hall

Oh sweet lungs don't fail me now
Your burning has turned into fear
That trails me in my every step,
I'm moving quick but you're always on my heels

Just one more breath, I beg you please
Just one more step, my knees are weak
My heart is sturdy but it needs you to survive
My heart is sturdy but it needs you

Breathe, don't you want to breathe?
I know that you are strong enough to handle what I need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you carry me there one more time?

Steady lungs, don't fail me now
I feel you bursting but you won't let me die
Fill me up with every stepI
'm feeling sick, but I'm leaving it behind

Just one long breath I beg you please
Just one more step you are not weak
My legs are sturdy but they need you to survive
My heart is sturdy but I need you

Breathe, don't you want to breathe?
And know that you are strong enough to handle what I need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you carry me there once more?

I have reason to believe that I have victories to taste
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest
I can roll them on my tongue, they are more supple than defeat
I feel the tension in my lungs and every move is fueled by my resolve to

Breathe, don't you want to breathe?
I know that you are strong enough to handle what I need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you carry me there one more time?

~Reason to Believe, Dashboard Confessional

I had my first rehearsal today with Mr. Joel Hall. His work, with him at the forefront, is the reason I'm here, my goal for this whole 2nd company process. So today should have been a great experience. We've heard horror stories about him working you to the bone, running stuff again and again, being really picky about every detail, about him changing stuff left and right. But there was no preparation for the real deal. He had us run it once just to see it. This piece is really hard (though he told us that it shouldn't be), and I am onstage for all but about 32 counts of the 10 minutes. Once through and I just about want to die. After this first run, he tells us it's terrible, and we should run it again, but better ("Get it together, honey"). So we run it again, trying even harder to please him. This time, he says it was a little better. By now I'm panting uncontrolably, and have completely sweated through all of my clothes. The headache I've had all day is hurting to distraction, and I know it's not over yet. He starts running little chunks of choreography, perfecting details here and there. But you can't mark, no sir, everything full out, again and again. Right, wrong, better, worse, you give 200% in front of Mr. Joel Hall. I am pulling it out of who-knows-where by this point. We get done with the little sections, and of course: "Let's see it again. And this time, don't mess up." Don't mess up? I knew right then I was doomed. We start in a static pose center stage, and I can hardly hold the position. But I grit my teeth and make my grimace into a smile. I got through about 1/4 of the piece before I broke down. Crying, just about hyperventilating, over-heating, totally in a panic. I run off-stage, leaving a big hole in the piece. No one stops (good for them), though I'm having a little flip-out party in the corner. I spent about 1 minute hoping I could gather myself and get back out there, but I knew it wouldn't happen. The stage manager who was there watching comes over, demands I sit down, and goes to get me some wet paper towels and water. I spend the rest of the rehearsal trying to collect myself. Mr. Joel Hall asks me "You okay, Ms. Thing? Do I need to replace you?" Oh geez, please don't replace me. I am not working this hard, destroying myself like this, just to be replaced. No sir, I will do this part, and I will do it right, 250%. Just give me another week to get over that flu I had, and a couple more hours of sleep every night.

So my first real show of stamina and chance to impress my hopefully-future director was a huge bust. I've pushed myself hard before, I've had an asthma attack after a run of a piece, given myself 4 stress fractures because I refused to take it easy. But this was just bad. Scary, dissapointing, and sad. I just hope I can pull it out next time he sees the piece, cause I would be infuriated if one moment of weakness ruined my chances. I have victories to taste, so I just gotta breathe.

A couple crazy weeks

These past couple weeks have been a whirlwind. Sometimes fun, sometimes horrible. A recap:

The store I work at (Chicago Dance Supply) has been recently kicked out of our space to make room for a bank and a take-and-bake pizza place. We opted to move to the upstairs retail space in the same building, rather than moving somewhere completely different. The customer base is great in that area (there's a dance studio right across the street), and the neighborhood is good. Also, the actual moving would be easier. We've had the space available to us for a while, so we painted, put down a new wood floor, knocked down a bunch of walls, installed a new ceiling, and built some custom-fit fixtures for our merchandise. The actual move happened the first week of April. It was CRAZY. Pretty much nothing was planned for this move, we just all knew we had to be there every waking moment all week. And we were. I spent 6-8 hours there every day, on top of Starbucks. We took inventory on everything in the store, from pointe shoes to leotards to fairy wings to thera bands. Then, we moved it upstairs. We moved up 6 8-foot tall bookshelves, 10 t-stands, and innumberable other fixtures. We built new shelves and new hanging rods and new hooks on every available wall. We hung waterfall hooks on every pole. We built up and up and up, because there was no space to spread out. We need step-stools to get at about half the merchandise. We painted shelves, desks, walls, trim. We cleaned the nice new floors like 20 times. We arranged and re-arranged and arranged again. It was nuts. But it got done. There are still little things to do, to put away, to organize. Every time I go into work, something is in a different place. We got a new computer which I have to set up and get going. But the new space is great. It's cute, it's cozy, it's functional, it's ours. We really worked hard to make it just for us, exactly how we needed it. And a week of work later, and many a bruise and scrape, it looks great. Come visit sometime!!

As I was leaving work on Friday night, after being there for 9 hours following a 6 hour shift at Starbucks, I said to my co-worker: "how much do you want to bet I'll be sick within the next 3 days?" And, by Sunday night, I was proved right. I had this terrible headache, and tried to go to bed early only to lie there until 4am not sleeping. After 2 hours of sleep, I attempted to go to work at Starbucks. After just a few hours, I looked like death and felt like I was going to fall over, so they sent me home. By the time I got home, I had a 103 degree fever. I spent the next 3 days in bed, unable to do much of anything. They came to spray my apartment for bugs on Wednesday (something I agreed to let them do 4 times a year in my lease), which forced me out of bed to at least get the door. Thankfully, I got better quick after that. I was back at work by Thursday, though I hadn't eaten in 4 days. And I was chipper enough by Saturday to go to Holland for a wedding. I lost 5 pounds, which is a plus. But being sick is never fun. I'm back to normal now, though, which is great. I'm sure those 5 pounds won't stay off for long, as I'm seriously enjoying being able to eat again :)

The wedding in Holland was great. Mike and I played a great round of frisbee golf before-hand (we passed a bunch of boys who seemed amazed that I would play a round in my heels and dress). The weather was nice, if not exactly summer-y. The reception was fun, I got to dance a little. The food was great. And I got to go on a road-trip, one of my favorite things. It made me miss my college friends, though (Jennica!!!), my Reeverts Girls, my dancer friends. I miss the peace and straight-forward-ness of college, of Holland. Much as I love the city, it was nice to be back with the tulips and the trees.

In other news, I tried to make brownies yesterday. They didn't turn out well. Oh so sad.

Random Pictures

My 22nd birthday, and the lemon-raspberry cheesecake/pie thing I made. Sam was a little wierded out by the raspberries.



The boys at Mary's wedding. It was at the Meijer Gardens, with an sweet indoor greenhouse. These science geeks were really into these huge palms. Don't they look cute when their wheels are turning?



The sunrise over Waunakee, WI. One of many beautiful sunrises I saw this summer.



I took a nice walk around downtown Chicago a couple weeks ago. This is some cool metal sculpture in Milennium Park. I'm pretty proud of this picture, I think it's pretty neat.




Hope you enjoyed the randomness. Later!

Some things

A few thoughts and randomness.

-3 weird and related things:
--I know a girl who works in marketing. She had a big meeting before they send out a poster for this big ad campaign. There were hands clutching a doll in the poster. Turns out, they were men's hands. Weird looking. So they assigned her the job of re-touching the hands to make them feminine. Couldn't they have just re-taken the picture? Why was it a man in the first place?
--There was an article in this Chicago magazine about jeans. They had pictures of 6 different brands of jeans, and labeled them with which gender they were for, and some good points about them. They were pictures of just about the waist down of each model. Wierd thing: all the models had the same exact feet. And they were men's feet. So the male jeans looked normal, but the female jeans had male feet attached to their obviously feminine bodies. It looked really gross.
--There's a poster outside my local Payless Shoes to advertise their new brand. It's a group of young people standing around looking attractive. Thing is, none of them are wearing shoes. Shoe-store, shoe ad, no shoes.

-Holidays are all in the market to make money, seems like, right? Most holidays are a great way to sell lots of candy. Christmas has candy-canes. Easter has Cadbury Eggs. Valentine's Day has chocolates of all sorts. St. Patrick's Day has no candy, just liquor. I've never seen so many drunk college students in the middle of the day before (not even during Spring Fling). And all dressed like morons and wandering around downtown today. Maybe Halloween in Madison is like this.

-This guy got on my crowded train today. He pulled out a wad of cash, a piece of cardboard, 3 pop bottle caps, and a tiny red ball. He kept trying to get people to guess where the ball was (you get the drift of the game, right?), and he'd give them $100 if they could produce $100 to match. So a couple of guys were playing with him, exchanging $100 bills when they got it right. These young women kept trying to play, but didn't have the money to actually win anythying. The whole train was engaged in the event, most of us looking very skeptical about the whole thing. Suddenly, the guys is like "k, you guys aren't good at this, I'm packing up," and his whole set-up disappears into his coat. Next stop, on steps a CTA security officer, and off hop the guy and 3 of the guys who were "playing" with him. Wierd. The girls who had been trying to play looked abashed and got off at the next stop.

-I have cooked 2 amazing meals for my friends in the last 3 weeks. Baked salmon once, and then chicken cacciatore this week. When did I get to be a good cook? Guess I just need someone to cook for. And more than 5 minutes.


Coming soon: the random pictures I pulled off my camera. Peace out.

WOOHOO!!!

What a whirlwind of a couple of weeks. Since I moved to town, I've been putting in applications to everything I might be qualified for at every job site I could find online. I've gone to messenger services, hospitals, and every Starbucks on the North side of Chicago. And I got absolutely nothing. Not even a call-back.
Until about 2 weeks ago. I got a call from this lady at an apartment finding service I had applied at. I went in for an interview, and we really seemed to hit it off. She offered me basically any job in the place, and said she'd find something for me within a week. Well, a week later I get an email from her that says my schedule conflicts with the open positions, but something might come up in a couple of months. Great, more months of nothing to look forward to. So, in desperation I went downtown to another Starbucks job fair, and to register at a temp agency. I went in a highrise office building for the first time, which was kinda fun. The guy at the agency seemed to think I would have to wait a while to hear anything, and those job fairs are so hit and miss. They see hundreds of people in one day, there's no telling which 5 will get jobs. So I wasn't too optimistic, but at least was taking an active approach.
Lo and Behold, I get a call back from the agency that same day, looking for an interview. Apparently they front desk guy gave such a stunning review of the 10 words I said to him that the recruiter was really excited to meet me. I took this online test of if I could use Microsoft Office programs, got together some business attire, and headed back downtown. And the interview went great. Though I have a terrible resume (teaching dance and dancing a lot and delivering a couple papers doesn't exactly look awesome for an office environment), she seemed to think I was so nice and engaging that everyone looking for a temp would love me. So, that was great!
Then, that same day, I get a call from Starbucks. No way. I got a second interview. Went in, got the job. Yup. I NOW WORK AT STARBUCKS!!! I'm going to open like 4 days a week. I can keep my job at the dance store, and can keep my regular class schedule at the studio. And in 90 days I get benefits. And it turns out I work at the #2 store in the district, right in the loop, in the same building where my college roommate Kathleen works. AWESOME!! After months of handing in applications, I finally have the job I've been looking for since May.
The kicker: today, I get a call from the apartment finding service. They are offering me an office job. Probably 40 hours a week with great pay. Doing something boring like filing credit reports in a cubicle. With no flexibility for rehearsals, performances, or the off chance that I get bumped up to rehearse with the 1st company (totally not happening yet, by the way). So, as great as it might have been to get this job 2 weeks ago, now I think I'm actually going to turn it down. Starbucks seems like so much fun, fits right into my schedule. And if I have days off I can hopefully get some temp work in.
All I can say is: Thank Jesus. Seriously. I gave it up, and he gave me all that I needed and more. And just in time to still catch Mommy in the country to tell her the good news. Though adding long hours of making coffee will be hard on my sleep schedule, it'll be so good to have something to do, more poeple to talk to, somethign to learn. Just another push for me to become a morning person. Probably still not goign to happen.

2 Things

1) I took my first hip-hop class ever last night. And I didn't mess around, I jumped right in to the "Advanced" level. It was really fun, I actually didn't make a complete fool of myself, and my friend (who is very very good at hip-hop) complimented me once even :) Not sure if I'll do it again any time soon (I am very sore today), but it was great anyways.

2) Apparently my apartment building has a garbage chute. There was some notice up in the hallway today about not cleaning out pots directly into the garbage chute, which was the first I had ever heard of it. I've been lugging my garbage down and out myself. I'd very much enjoy using a garbage chute. Now I've just got to find it....