These are funny:

A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.

Definition of Atheism : a non-prophet organization.

Photons have mass!?! I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind I'll never die!

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Jesus Saves. Passes to Moses. Shoots. HE SCORES!

Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?

If God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajitas, cause that's what He's getting tonight.

And my favorite:
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said, "Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out."