Changed

I've been in school 1 week so far. I've been in rehearsal a little longer than that. I've been in places where there is lots of available social situations, food, and crochet time. And, I've changed.
In modern yesterday, we did a combination at the end of class. It was very Ray, had counts and the movements kinda fit them. He had cool music that you totally wanted to dance to, and I was pretty much the only one there who got the combo. So we learn it a while, then he just has us do it in groups. And I noticed that I dance completely differently than I did at the end of last year. Though there were counts, I didn't feel like they were a confining box I had to dance inside. Though he gave us specific movements, I felt no real obligation to do them exactly as he had shown them. Though there were other people there who I knew were following me, I didn't put out for them, I just danced because it was a great piece of choreography. It was amazing. Where did I learn to dance like that? Can other people tell that I'm no longer tied down by the things I thought were important in a movement phrase? Does this make me "better" or "worse" or just different?
Today, I wore a leotard. I tend to avoid leotards until I have absolutely nothing else to dance in. It was not a pretty sight. I know that I week ago I looked darn good. You could see my 6-pack emerging, I was running 3 miles a day, I was only eating as much as I really needed. Now, I'm hungry all the time and there always seems to be something to snack on. I have no time to run except in the middle of the blazing sunlight and 85 degrees (I go about a mile and want to die of sun and sweat). My nearly-6-pack is completely gone, buried, lost. How can the clothes that fit a week ago not fit now? Am I really eating that much? Is 4 hours of hard rehearsal not good enough to keep me fit? Ugh.
I am a senior, finished with my chemistry major, and looking at not going right to graduate school. I don't have any heavy science classes, my only gen ed class is a pretty light load and consists mostly of conversations in class. I am dancing a lot, but not doing anything too brain-heavy. I actually have time to read something other than my text books. I have time to take a nap if I want. I dont' have class all in a row from 8:30 to 6 pm. I hardly know what to do with myself. I'll fill it somehow (Starbucks?)...
This year is so different. Yet, I'm the same...Should all this stuff that's not the way I expected it get me down, excited, scared? I need to think about all of this more.