What if I don't want this any more?
I am very dissatisfied with my classes this semester. There are a number of things I am required to take to finish my general education requirements, my dance major, or my graduate school prerequisites that I had been putting off until this year. At the time, it seemed like a good plan to avoid these chore-like classes until I was past the chemistry hump. So much of my brain and time was taken up by really difficult science and math that I had no space left for kinesiology or humanities. But this year, everything must be finished at once. I have no excuse to get out of biomechanics, or exercise physiology, or my senior seminar. I can't avoid folk dance class or dance therapy or sociology. As much as I don't want to take these things, someone has told me I must. But every day it gets harder to push through them. I feel like I shouldn't be struggling with them so much, I pushed myself through 3 years of chemistry that was un-interesting to me, way over my head, and thoroughly out of my league. But now I can't seem to focus on elementary physics concepts applied to baseball bats or knee joints. I can't comprehend basic cardiovascular function because I don't really care. I have very few burning questions about medical ethics seen from a conservative Christian perspective, as I have already taken time in my life to answer many of those questions for myself.
Any distraction, I dive into like holy water. I finished all my tasks for the next three weeks for the dance honors society I'm a part of, just to avoid reading about non-maliciousness in health care. I mapped out every possible room arrangement for the house for next semester so I didn't have to answer questions about third class lever systems in the body. I studied vocab for the GRE so I wouldn't have to read about lactate thresholds.
I know senioritis is infamous, but I didn't think it would be so annoying.


1 Comments:
At 6:44 AM,
Patricia G said…
What exactly is the antecedent of "this" in your title? A degree? classes? Or, I hope, senioritis? Keep on pressin' on, babe--you're in the stretch now. You can do it!
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