The Big Last

There are so many things that are ending. So much that was taken for granted, was expected and every-day is now going away. There are no more guarantees, no more easy plans. With so many things finishing, so many lasts, not all of them can be mourned. I was doing pretty well with saying good-bye to things this week. I got through my last classes, exams, rehearsals. No tears, and even a lot of relief that I wouldn't have to go through a lot of these things again soon. My list of lasts was turning into a list of things I could just say "good riddance" to. Until yesterday.
Saturday was the last Aerial show of the year, and of my time here. It was also the last time I would dance at the Knickerbocker theater. I spent so much of my life there this year. Hours, days, weeks in those little dressing rooms, with the tech staff, eating inbetween numbers. I got the priveledge this year of getting to give some pre-show announcements, which made me feel like I had some ownership over my experiences there. That stage treated me well, gave me some great performances and supported the bad ones as well. I will always have some of the Knick dirt ground into the bottoms of my feet, and smeared on countless pairs of dance shoes. I had my first college show on that stage, my debuts with InSync and Aerial. I had solos there, set works of my own. I gave my all on that stage, in that space. As I walked out on Saturday, I looked back at the familiar black marley, glow-taped spike marks, and dusty curtains. It was the only "last" that made me cry. Leaving that stage really felt like leaving forever, getting out of this experience, having to move on to the next one. Who knows what stage I will dance on next, if it will be as lovely as the Knick, or if I will always pine for the amazing space we had provided for us there. I'm a Hope alumn (well, soon), so I know I'm bound to come back here, see another show, guest artist in some piece for someone someday. Maybe I'll even see more of my own work there in the future. But my dancing days here are done. Real life, real world, here I come.

So many things to do

I know, I know, all I seem to talk about lately is how much stuff I have to do. But it's true. My independant research project now has an intro and a methods section, though both are still kinda rough (big thanks to Mike, for the help he has given on editing thus far). My migraine paper is now 10 pages of bullet-pointed notes, with a really badly written intro paragraph. I suppose that will need to have actual sentences and organization soon. My lab project has a pretty much blank powerpoint, with slides that say great things like "Introduction" and "Results," where we need to insert all of our data and stuff. My presentation on narcolepsy now has all the things done that have nothing to do with the presentation (it's actually a case study/lesson plan project, with a little presentation tacked on).
If you need visuals to understand how my life is going right now, here's a picture of what my independant study project looks like currently:















This is just the material for one project, so my life as a whole actually looks more like this:














Just imagine a couple leotards and pairs of dance pants thrown on the pile, and that's pretty much my room.
Okay, okay, I'm done whining. A few more days and I'm done!!! I got a couple names of Hope grads in NYC today, so maybe I'll get some help on an apartment for next year (exciting stuff). My comp piece went off wonderfully at the Student Dance Concert the other night, they danced it great and the adjudicators really seemed to like it. Steven's quote was: "Simplicity is hard, but you handled it well." That may sound odd, but his big thing is "Acts of simplicity are as important as acts of complexity," so that was actually a great compliment. I tried to take pictures, but I wasn't looking through the camera (I wanted to see it in real-life, not through the lens), so I mostly got pictures of the upstage left curtain. I'll have a video, though, so it's okay.
K, back to work. Endblog.

New Nephew #2

Meet Jack Timothy Grahmann (son of Steven and Jessica):
















Another reason to get back to WI!

New Nephew #1

Meet Martin Levi Grahmann (son of Alex and Erin):
















Cute, ain't he?

Pictures

I actually got some work done on one of my papers tonight (yes, on a Friday). That's good. On a completely un-related note, here are some pictures off my camera from recently:




I had a picture day with my ballet girls this week. I photographed their whole class, then we looked at the pictures and found some general things we can fix. It was a good experience for the girls, and now I have lots of bad pictures of my kids filed away. These are two of the better ones (I'm really not a photographer).

Moving day at Grahmann's/Haack's house!! This is the last that Sam and I saw of the moving, because we went off to someone else's house to play, but it was a good transition. Yay for having my own room for the first time in like 4 years!!

Some cool clouds from my drive to WI. I seem to have lots of random pictures of cloud formations from my many road trips during college.

Something you can only see in WI: a superstore that includes not only firewords and beer, but cheese. Can't forget the cheese.

Good Song

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new

Cause in my head there's a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here

I cannot guess what we'll discover
We turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain

I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Where soul meets body

~Death Cab for Cutie

Panic

I dressed up today. I looked skinny and hip and spring-y. I wore a skirt and sandals (which nearly goes against my code of dressing when it's only 65 degrees out). I even wore a necklace, and no leotard all day.

The rest of my life is in shambles. I'm spending about 4 hours in the exercise science lab every night this week getting the data for my independant study project. I haven't even really started the paper part yet, and the semester is over in 3 weeks. My migraine paper due date was pushed back, but that means that I've completely put it off and now have nothing to show for all the "research" I've supposedly been doing. I'm taking the class pass/fail, so people are recommending that I not do the paper at all, but it looks like I'm going to not study at all for the test I've got this Friday, and so need some sort of grade on the paper to get a passing grade. Apathy is wonderful, eh? Especially when mixed with physical, emotional, and time-management stress.

My knee hurts. Really bad. My ballet teacher recommends intensive physical therapy to over-work my whole system this summer and fix all my weak spots so I'm in tip-top condition for starting a career in NY. That sounds great, except for paying for a PT all summer and finding time amidst the 3 jobs I'm getting to actually go to therapy. I'm really tempted, though, cause my knee really hurts.

Speaking of jobs, I got a call back from Family Video (I applied for like 6 jobs this weekend). Great, a call-back. Except that I have a college education. Can you say over-qualified? It would probably be great, but I'd rather work someplace like Starbucks or the post office where they will at least give me insurance in trade for menial work. Anything is better than the factory, though.

Happy thoughts: spring is here. I'm not getting fatter even though I have zero time to work out. I have a great guy who loves me, and is coming to graduation. I get to get out of here in 3 weeks. Is it over yet?

Something

I feel like I should blog about something, since it's been awhile. But nothing has really stood out to me in the past couple of days. My life is nuts right now, so by the time I get to blogging I'm fresh out of caring. Just a couple more weeks, though, right? Oh man, that's so scary.

Some random things:

The daffodils are starting to bloom. I love that. I think the time when flowers are the prettiest are when they are just starting to grow, when they are twice as big one day than they were the day before.

My fitness study is going along fine. We're doing the bike tests next week, which is the meat of the research. I have to buckle down and get the non-testing part of the paper written, though, which is proving to be hard cause I like to procrastinate.

Aerial had a show in Deerborn last week, which went really well. The stage was huge and the audience really seemed to enjoy it. The best part, though, was that I fit in my costume way better than the last time we did this show in November or whenever that was. I could actually breathe in my pants. Amazing.

Another Hawaii picture, for visual interest:



These giant turtles bask on this beach regularly. Usually there are 3 or 4 up on the beach, but this day we saw 8. They were so cool.









K, off to do some more homework. Anyone want to write 3 research papers for me in the next 2 weeks? No takers? Well, fine then.