So close, yet so far

I'm kinda freaking out right now. My life in the last couple of weeks has been so odd, so frantic and yet so un-productive. I feel like I've been pouring money into so many places, making so little back, spending countless and endless hours in my car, running all over the place, including to multiple other states. The small victories are so small: I remembered to empty all the garbage cans this week, I did all of the laundry that's been accumulating over the last month. The big victories are not particularly sweet: I have new tires on my car (put on after one exploded in my face while I tried to put some air in it), I made two blankets in 3 weeks (both of which I immediately gave away, but didn't get to see the reaction to), I quit my job (after a full week of delivering in damaging hail and lightning storms).
Then, there's the big issue: the rest of my life. This week, I go to NY state to visit Michael at Cornell. That's great, and it'll be a good visit. But come September 3, my life turns into a black hole. I have literally no idea what I'm going to do. I had this huge audition last week, which I thought went absolutely smashingly well. But I have yet to hear back from them. How good do I have to be to get the job? How much of a pest do I have to be to get an answer from them about it? If I get it, I'll be moving to Chicago within a week of getting back from visiting Michael. If I don't get it, I guess I'll go to NYC as previously planned. But, when do I go? Where do I go when I get there, because my plan to stay at the YWCA won't work if I arrive mid-month (I don't want to have to pay a full month's rent to stay a couple of weeks). What will I do when I get there, find an apartment, a dance studio, a job? Where to start? Why do I feel like my life drops off a cliff on September 4? I can go anywhere, I can do anything, really. I'm an adult, with some savings, a college degree, and some noticeable talent. Yet I have no laid-out plans, I have no desires to go anywhere that over-run my fears of anywhere that I could go. Is my knee good enough to leave the doctors here behind? Is my perception completely off that I can think I totally nail an audition for a great spot in a great place and then totally not get it?
I haven't watched a movie in months. So I went out a rented Garden State. And I cried through the entire second half. My sense of purpose is disintigrating. My sense of disorientation is taking it's place at record pace. This is one of those moments when I would really appreciate a big neon sign in the sky from God telling me what to do. At church today we learned about being content and satisfied in whatever situation we find ourselves. That's so hard, because I'm in what seems like a non-situation.

Um, thanks for listening. Next time you see me, remind me not to watch movies by myself.