These are funny:

A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.

Definition of Atheism : a non-prophet organization.

Photons have mass!?! I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind I'll never die!

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Jesus Saves. Passes to Moses. Shoots. HE SCORES!

Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?

If God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajitas, cause that's what He's getting tonight.

And my favorite:
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said, "Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out."

Boredom

Boredom. A blessing and a curse. When you have not a minute to breathe, boredom seems like chocolate-covered strawberries. When you have absolutely nothing on the menu, boredom seems like unripe bananas. Yet for the few sweet moments between craziness and restlessness, boredom is perfect. Doing nothing and not getting behind, doing whatever you want and not getting hit over the head with it. You can sit and stare at a white wall if you like, and think thoughts of black screens, and it's glorious. The iminent lonliness and disconent are nowhere in your field of vision. Only the wonderful break in the insanity that is normally your existance. Wanna come over and sit and do nothing with me? Sounds like fun. We should do this more often.

5 more weeks until official summer vacation. 3 exams and 4 essays until this pit of a semester is over. Yay.
My weekend definitely lifted my spirits. I got to see Rich for a whole 4 hours (though that kinda sucks, too). I got to see both my nephews in the same place at the same time. Noah is huge, Sammy is still a little old man looking. I got to see my dad, which was great. I got to see all my siblings and their spouses, which is always tons of fun. I got to get off campus, which was a nice breath of fresh air. It was a very nice overall (see, whoever you mystery commenter is, I'm done whining for a while).
And, then there's the BIG NEWS....wait for it.....
I made Insync!!!! For those of you out there not familiar with the Hope bubble, I didn't make it into the obnoxious boy band we all love to hate. Rather, I was selected as a member of the proffessional jazz and tap dance company resident on campus. !!! :) :) :) Yay to that. It's gonna be a lot of work and a lot of scheduling issues, but also a ton of fun. I've been waiting forever to be part of this company, so I'm super excited.
Alright, back to my organic studying. If I get a 273% on this test, I might pull off an A. In the real world, I'm working really hard to get that B- that's just in my reach. Think encouraging mechanistic thoughts for me.


PS Who are you, mystery commenter? I'll take any hints you'll give....

I need this semester to be over already. I've hit my springtime depression, and I need it all to get done soon. I want my mommy, I want my own room, I want a bed that doesn't shake when the train goes by, I want my boyfriend to be less than 4 hours away, I want time to sleep more than 6 hours, I want to not have to be at my computer writing crap I don't care about and thus not be outside in the sunshine, I want to not be dancing a billion hours a day, I want to not feel the stress fractures forming with every step, I want to not worry about my C's. This all sucks, make it end. When you fail at everything you're supposed to be good at, it doesn't make for such a happy camper. I vote for skipping the next two weeks.

First sunburn of the year: April 15th. Sad, just sad.

This week has been crazy. I had three tests. I've got a show next week so I've been in rehearsal like all the time. And the last bunch of rehearsals for the show at the studio are kicking in, meaning I'm rehearsing there a whole lot too. It's also been just plain gorgeous outside. And I had a cold that's only just wearing off, which was tons of fun. The combination of these factors meant I spent a lot of this time sitting in front of my chemistry books staring off into space. It wasn't even one of those week where you are thinking about stuff constantly. Nope, just staring into the air, with my mind as blank as my homework pages.
Some good things went down, though. I passed my ballet test, which is probably the only thing I've truly succeeded at in the grade department all year. This really cool kid drew a picture of Jennica and I sitting outside studying, and we've decided to frame it and put it up in our apartment when we live together. I threw a frisbee around with Mike the other day, and I actually did really well. He was mad at me for not throwing like that when we play golf, but he was really amazed at how accurate and nice my throws were. I actually spent a couple hours socializing last night, which I haven't done in just about forever. True, the rest of my night consisted of watching the Yankees lose (boo) and crochetting, but at least I had some time with real people for a little while.
Alright, off to some more rehearsals. Maybe I'll get some more sunshine time later. I'd like that. But no burning this time.

I was reading the Holland Sentinel today at lunch, and I was struck by the utter uselessness of the writing. I only got through a bit of the sports page before I got too sick of reading it, but here are some of my favorite parts:

"This year, Tigers baseball is about playing like professionals," says Craig Monroe.
Now, this isn't the smartest statement ever. Yet it so poinantly paints a picture of the way the Tigers have played ball recently. Oh, you mean being in the Major Leagues means you have to play professionally? I never would have guessed...

Phil Mickelson had watched players take what had been preordained as his the way Ernie Els was trying to Sunday.
That putt completed a brilliant 31 on Augusta's back nine, a charge similar to that of the player Mickelson was once decreed to succeed and lifting him into the same select company.
These are just badly written sentences. Am I too tired to be reading them right or something? They are messy and long and don't really make too much sense to me. I'm distracted from Mickelson's great win by the bad writing.

"After we lost to Holland Christian, (assistant coach Kelli Shinabarger) and I felt like we needed Cort to make our doubles lineup stronger.
Shouldn't those parentheses be brackets?
They have an idea what it will take to reach their goal, so they are planning to take the steps to get there.
How's that again? I'm lost by this sentence.

I stopped reading after these couple painful articles. Maybe you weren't caught as offguard by them as I was, but really people, have someone who actually passed 12th grade English read your articles before you publish them. It will save people like me minutes of agony at least.

In anatomy today, we were talking about the circulatory system. So we got on the topic of how blood passes through the veins, seeing as there is essentially zero blood pressure and it's flowing uphill. The girl who sits next to me (we have an odd relationship based mostly on my telling her stories of fainting and her telling me about her uncle who works in the Chem department) and I were postulating about how venous return really worked. We decided that it must be muscles or something that push the blood. From this conclusion we choreographed a short interpretive dance I would like to entitle "The Jig of the Veins." Our prof caught us in the middle of a short performance of this piece, and forced my counterpart to arise and show the entire class the jig. After completing her performance, she was very kind in thanking me for not joining her. Overall, a succesfull artistic venture to keep me awake in lecture.

Goals for this week:

Make it til Thursday
Pass chem quizzes
Stay awake when necessary
Don't dwell on need for sit ups
Avoid reading or hearing about people's drunkenness and general college-related stupidity
Don't break any important body parts in dance rehearsals
Attempt to keep from running away from here as fast as I can due to over-excitement for the long weekend

This is gonna be a long short week...

You know when you should have something exciting to say, but can't come up with anything at all? Yeah.