Dance 32
This weekend are the performances of my last faculty-choreographed concert here at Hope. This is the big concert of the year, with full-length works, professional lighting, 60 participating dancers, the whole sha-bang. Auditions are held for the whole department, the faculty rarely does re-setting of pieces, so it is an opportunity to be in a new, fresh piece. It's a pretty big deal around the dance department. The shows usually sell out, the stage is big, the costumes are always gorgeous. I love doing it, though it rules my entire life for the start of each spring semester. Rehearsals are endless, and especially grueling considering they are faculty run, and there is only about 5 weeks in which to set a 10-15 minute piece. The experience is always really great, though. I've had the privelege of being in the show all four years, and dancing in every full-time faculty's piece except for Steven (who I worked with in Aerial, so I count that as being in everyone's piece). I've been in funny pieces, in serious pieces, in abstract pieces. I've had a solo/lead, I've been just one of the ensemble. It's been really great.
This is my last year, and with that come a lot of fears and questions. What if this is my last big show? What if this is my last professional-quality work? I know I'm not bad at dancing, but a good job just might not come up while I'm in NY looking for one. I may only dance with little companies for one show at a time, or I may have to be content with a few months as an understudy for something. I may spend my year "dancing" working long hours at the post office just to pay for rent, let alone for dance classes. This all makes me really sad, and really anxious. I want this show to go well so badly that I'm freaking myself out about it. If this is the end, I want to go out with a bang. But so many things can go wrong: a lift gets screwy and I'm dropped onstage, I bruise the bottom of my foot so I can hardly step on it (true story, this is really not cool), my costume totally doesn't fit but no one thinks it's a big deal except for me. I just want this to be good, so I can say that my last real performance was a success. Then maybe I will be satisfied with student works, recital pieces, or the back row of the chorus.
Moral of the story: come see Dance 32 in the DeWitt Theater this weekend
posted by dancepeg @ 9:33 AM
2 Comments:
At 10:34 AM,
Anonymous said…
oh, sweet, sweet paula. i hear everything you are saying - sure i wasn't in dance, but reading your thoughts and fears as you come to the end of this chapter in your life is like reading old journals of mine. it's so hard to do things for the last time and look ahead to an uncertain but exciting future. i know things will be great for you this weekend - and hey, remember that even if you fall or some part of the scenery drops on you, that's a story, too. you can say, "yeah, the last time i ever danced at college, all the boys tripped over each other and my dress ripped and i forgot to plie..." and you'll laugh and remember it fondly.as you dance this weekend, feel the joy of it and remember that you have so many chapters to look forward to! do some crying and some reminiscing this weekend and get excited for what's next. and get the video so anna can watch auntie paula dance forever and ever.
At 12:20 AM,
Patricia G said…
I wish I could be there, dear heart. I'll pray for blessings on you--for beautiful memories you'll capture in your heart.
I remember fondly Midsummer Night's Dream and how you really captured Puck, and the time you were covered head to toe with metalic paint with your hair teased up like a banshee, and the mulit-mouse times, and when you were a vegetable for Peter Rabbit. They can't take those memories away from you, as Julie reminds us. The dancing goes on inside us forever and ever.
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