Ask and you shall recieve

So, I didn't quite get a big neon sign from God. I did, however, get a comforting phone call from my mother, and another BIG important call from the director of the program I auditioned for last week. I am accepted!!! So, in about a week, I move to Chicago!
The program is a training program for the apprenticeship program. So, technically 2 steps below a full company member. We take 9 classes a week, plus rehearsals, 2 shows a year, and the chance to dance with the first company on invitation by the director. I am now officially affiliated with the Joel Hall Dancers of Chicago! This is amazing!! The road isn't finished, the work is only beginning, but my dream of becoming a "real" dancer is coming true!! You can tell I'm excited because I'm breaking all of my exclamation point restrictions :)
I got an all-clear from the doctor about my knee yesterday, which is also great news. It's good enough for me to just keep working on it myself, keeping up with the exercises and stretches and things so that I don't re-injure it. But no significant pain, no debilitating annoyance. Awesome.
When I finally gave up thinking about how terrible I felt about not knowing what was up, when I gave the whole situation into God's hands, I got an answer. I'm still looking for some big neon arrows for things in life, but for now I'll be content with a couple of life-changing phone calls.
Come visit me in Chicago!!!

So close, yet so far

I'm kinda freaking out right now. My life in the last couple of weeks has been so odd, so frantic and yet so un-productive. I feel like I've been pouring money into so many places, making so little back, spending countless and endless hours in my car, running all over the place, including to multiple other states. The small victories are so small: I remembered to empty all the garbage cans this week, I did all of the laundry that's been accumulating over the last month. The big victories are not particularly sweet: I have new tires on my car (put on after one exploded in my face while I tried to put some air in it), I made two blankets in 3 weeks (both of which I immediately gave away, but didn't get to see the reaction to), I quit my job (after a full week of delivering in damaging hail and lightning storms).
Then, there's the big issue: the rest of my life. This week, I go to NY state to visit Michael at Cornell. That's great, and it'll be a good visit. But come September 3, my life turns into a black hole. I have literally no idea what I'm going to do. I had this huge audition last week, which I thought went absolutely smashingly well. But I have yet to hear back from them. How good do I have to be to get the job? How much of a pest do I have to be to get an answer from them about it? If I get it, I'll be moving to Chicago within a week of getting back from visiting Michael. If I don't get it, I guess I'll go to NYC as previously planned. But, when do I go? Where do I go when I get there, because my plan to stay at the YWCA won't work if I arrive mid-month (I don't want to have to pay a full month's rent to stay a couple of weeks). What will I do when I get there, find an apartment, a dance studio, a job? Where to start? Why do I feel like my life drops off a cliff on September 4? I can go anywhere, I can do anything, really. I'm an adult, with some savings, a college degree, and some noticeable talent. Yet I have no laid-out plans, I have no desires to go anywhere that over-run my fears of anywhere that I could go. Is my knee good enough to leave the doctors here behind? Is my perception completely off that I can think I totally nail an audition for a great spot in a great place and then totally not get it?
I haven't watched a movie in months. So I went out a rented Garden State. And I cried through the entire second half. My sense of purpose is disintigrating. My sense of disorientation is taking it's place at record pace. This is one of those moments when I would really appreciate a big neon sign in the sky from God telling me what to do. At church today we learned about being content and satisfied in whatever situation we find ourselves. That's so hard, because I'm in what seems like a non-situation.

Um, thanks for listening. Next time you see me, remind me not to watch movies by myself.

Wedding, Birthday

The last week has been pretty exciting. There were 2 big events, a wedding and a birthday, and all kinds of fun randomness inbetween.
The wedding was beautiful. Mary looked GORGEOUS, her dress was simple and her hair was up all pretty and she even had a (very tasteful) tiara. The ceremony was quick and sunny (outside), and the reception was fun and not overly lovey. We were the annoying table that clinked their glasses a million times, especially at times when the bride and groom were particularly far apart. But Mary and Andrew apparently didn't mind, and no one else was being brave enough to do it, so our mission was successful. It was great to see everyone who came, and spend some good times with them all dressed up. Though it took 11 hours to get there (Chicago traffic sucks), even the car ride was good (yay roommates!). After about a month of searching, I finally found the perfect outfit, so though I couldn't brag about my new job, my new apartment, my exciting plans, or my engagement (because I have none of those things), at least I looked darn good. I'll get a few pictures up here soon.
My birthday also went well. I didn't do too many exciting things, but it was still a nice day. I got all kinds of great phone calls from friends and family. I dont' think I've ever had so many calls in one day before. Thanks, everybody, for calling, that was SO great. I tried to buy my "birthday shoes," the sneakers I've been wearing for 9 years now, but they didn't have my size in the right color. So I"ll get a little extra celebration i n a week when they come in. I took a great bike ride, and a really hard ballet class. Not too celebratory, but still good. Then Julie and Ryan took me out to dinner at the Nitty Gritty, where I took advantage of the free-beer-for-your-birthday by having a whole 2 beers. I'm a lush, I know. So it was a nice day overall, sunny and beautiful, with lots of love from everyone.
Some other events lately:
My car woudln't start, and I had to get it towed and then repaired. And for the first time, I did the adult thing and paid for the fix myself. Being an adult is aparently expensive work.
My parents went out of town for some vacation, so I have the house all to myself again. I'm procrastinating in going grocery shopping (I just hate pushing the cart), so I'm living off of whatever junk they left behind.
The other day I was biking this really hard route, and kept getting passed by all these really cool-looking hard-core bikers. I couldn't figure it out. Then I saw a sign by the side of the road: "Ironman contestants please keep right." Great, I was on the Ironman route, being passed by all the real bikers practicing for the upcoming race. I'll never go that way again.
I promised blankets to the 2 brides this month, and so I'm frantically crocheting my little fingers off. Mary's got done just in the knick of time, and we'll see about Emily's. And Kathleen's blanket was coming along fine until I ran out of yarn. I can't find any of the right stuff, so I'm kinda stuck there. Everyone, if I promise you a blanket, please don't expect it on time.

Alright, off to get some stuff done today. Yay for another wedding this weekend!!

Guess what, I'm still alive

It's been a whole month since I posted last, sorry. That's the longest break I can remember since I started this thing (though I haven't gone back to validate the claim of longest, you can check if you like). Life is just kinda slow for me lately, a new and interesting (in it's own way) thing to experience.
I go to work every day. I drive the same route, with a few new starts or stops along the way, and very few complaints from my customers. I'm starting to forget what a weekend feels like, but I'm saving a lot, even in the short time I've been working. There's a small snaffoo as to when I should stop working, but I'll make it to the weddings and to NYC without too much trouble from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal I'm sure.
The family went on our annual vacation, and I actually got to go this year. I've missed the last two, so it was great to have time to hang with everyone and have a bit of a break. We swam, cooked out, I made a cake for Julie's birthday (then proceeded to pile the layers wrong and ended up with an icing-glued toppling disaster held together with candle skewers and covered in M&M's in an attempt to salvage the whole thing) and some great lemon bars. We talked a lot, listened to some great music, did lots of crosswords. It was a great time. The babies were super cute, and the family time was just so much fun. I love feeling like I really belong with my family, a thing it took long years to achieve. Now I'm just one of the bunch, and am totally comfortable and included in the crowd. They laugh at my jokes, take my opinions seriously, and let me love their kids. I miss my far-away family, and it's so great to have some time to just chill together at an awesome resort.
I took a 36-hour trip to MI yesterday and the day before. I got my third laser hair removal treatment (they turned up the laser, ouch), got to stay with Mary's family and actually visit with her before her big day (she's getting married on my partent's anniversary), hung out with Brandon (I suppose I'll get over him ditching NYC for Grand Rapids someday, the pie at Perkins helped), and had dinner with Lisa on my way through Chicago (it was supposed to be lunch, but the traffic changed our plans). It was a great little get-away, and I read/listened-to a book on tape about the Appalachian mountains. My thoughts are all in a slow southern drawl now, but it was a pretty good book. Not Barbara Kingsolver's best, but still good.
I took up biking in the last couple weeks. My butt still hurts after a half hour on that little seat, and I still walk up most hills, but it's fun. I'm already seeing the effects of the different muscle use, and I know the long rides are good for my heart. I could get used to this cross-training thing, if only it wasn't prompted by injury. Keep praying for my knee, it's a little better but still frustrating.

So, I guess a few things have happened in the last month. Oh, I also got my hair cut today. It was getting long enough to braid, so I got it trimmed a little. Not too short, but not too shaggy either. Wedding extravaganza coming up, see so many of you in the next couple weeks!!!!